Cindy Koepp

Writing on the Edge

The Bird's Word

Waking up Without Caffeine

Posted by Cindy on December 18, 2013 at 1:15 PM

Well!  When my human started this blog, she let me have my own category as sort of a trial run.  As the last couple months went along, she decided -- very wisely, I think -- to let me have the blog all to myself!  No worries, I'll let her guest blog from time to time, but now you humans will have the benefit of my avian wisdom much more often!  Isn't that fabulous?


So, keep an eye on this space.  I'll be customizing things over the next couple weeks as I figure out how I want things to look.  I might even get her to update the page as a whole.  I mean, the blue-green background isn't bad, but there are other colors.


Today's Story

You humans are always looking for ways to wake up.  I'll have more to say on that, but let me share with you an example of how my human woke up late one night.  She even did it without that caffeine stuff you humans value so highly.  Just for fun, I'll write this as one of those weird ads I hear from the TV from time to time.  Ready?


Getting tired? Feeling sleepy? Can't stop yawning?

Well, don't try caffeine and never mind taking a nap. Here's the solution for you.

 

Ants. That's right. Ants. Just discover ants under your bird's cage.

 

You'll be instantly alert as you fly into action finding the point of entry and nuking it with just enough ant poison to kill ants without harming the bird, but that's not all!

 

Next get some Orthene and a flashlight. Do a perimeter check to find out where those pesky six-legged pests are invading your home and use the Orthene to issue an eviction notice.

 

You're not done yet.

 

Get a pair of plastic gloves and go shake out those bird towels outside then throw them in the wash.

 

Finally, vacuum. That's right! Grab the vacuum and get rid of those ants before they find somewhere else to invade.

 

But that's not all. If you act now, you'll get the joy of paresthesia. You'll think for certain that those creepy little crawlies are still all over the place even if they're not.

 

So the next time you start getting tired remember this quick solution. Ants. Try it today.


 

See?  Now isn't that better than caffeine?  So, that's my dose of avian wisdom for this time.  Next time, I think we'll talk about the crazy hours you humans keep.

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